


The Justice League of Avengers

by coriolana



Category: DCU (Animated), Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Super Friends
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Avengers, Dress Up, Fluff, Marvel/DC, Multi, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 12:58:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3448061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coriolana/pseuds/coriolana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jasmine and Naomi are visiting the American Museum of Natural History when a gang of jewel-thieving bad guys interrupt their school trip. Fortunately, they're saved by the timely arrival of . . . the Justice League??? But the Justice League is made-up, right?</p><p>Contains: Avengers, costume changes, tiny heroic lesbian nerdbabies, made-up swears, mixing of Marvel and DC, and brief peril involving kids.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Justice League of Avengers

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [gth694e](http://archiveofourown.org/users/gth694e) for the beta read and for badgering me into writing this; all mistakes remaining are mine.

"Listen up!" the leader of the armed men shouted. "All you witches better sit down and shut up, or I'll put bullets in every one of your ducking heads!"

Jasmine squeezed Naomi's hand, and the other girl squeezed back, sending a worried look at her friend. Somewhere in the cavernous rotunda of the American Museum of Natural History, one of their schoolmates tried to stifle a frightened whimper. _We didn't even get to the dinosaur hall_ , Jasmine thought, annoyed, as she looked up at the fighting barosaurus and allosaurus skeletons overhead. She'd been looking forward to the dinosaurs _all week_.

The armed man kept yelling and using bad words. He looked tired, like her daddy when he came home from a long surgery to save someone's life, but the armed man's face was pale and gross, like bread dough left out on a counter too long. Jasmine clenched her jaw. That man was a real _jerk._

"Jasmine, I'm scared," Naomi whispered. Her brown eyes were big in her face, the whites shining almost as white as her headscarf. "My mom says sometimes men like that don't like girls like me."

"If he comes over here, I'll kick his _butt_ ," Jasmine said fiercely. Naomi leaned into Jasmine and shivered when one of the other armed men looked in their direction.

"No talking," he said. Jasmine glared at him as long as she could stand before she looked away, fear making her grits flop unhappily in her belly. She hated that she was afraid. _Come on,_ she told herself. _What would Captain America do?_

Last week, Captain America had been fighting HYDRA agents in Midtown with the other Avengers. He was always careful about keeping people safe; he'd made sure as many civilians were out of the way as possible before he started kicking butt.

Jasmine looked around the room. Most of the City School for Girls was here; everyone had been excited about the chance to visit the American Museum of Natural History, especially since they'd be the only ones in the Museum for a _whole hour._ Almost all the teachers were here, too, though they looked just as scared as Jasmine's classmates.

Two of the armed guys (Jasmine decided that it was okay to call them bad guys in her head, even if it did sound like a little-kid-ish instead of something Captain America would say) walked by, talking to each other. She ducked her head and strained her ears toward them, trying not to let them know she was listening to them, but all she heard was something about stones.

 _Of course!_ she thought. _The Hall of Gems!_ She'd been to the museum with her daddy before and visited the Hall of Gems. She'd been younger then, of course, only in second grade. Now that she was in fourth grade, she knew how expensive all the gems were, but back then, she had pestered her daddy all through the exhibit to buy her a pretty diamond. He had laughed and laughed, but at her next birthday, he had gotten her a pretty necklace with a little chip of sapphire. "For my best girl," he'd said, and kissed her right on the forehead. She was glad she hadn't worn it today. The bad guys might have tried to steal it.

 _So they came to steal the gems, and we interrupted them,_ she thought. She narrowed her eyes and counted how many there were (ten) and tried to figure out if she could sneak away. They had already taken all the cell phones, but if she could find an office with a phone, she could call the police . . .

A huge crash sent Jasmine's eyes to the big window at the top of the rotunda as nine costumed figures burst through and dropped to the floor of the rotunda. Her mouth hung open as she saw Batman, Robin, Batgirl, Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Arrow, Catwoman, Green Lantern, and a guy wearing a raincoat, a red scarf, and an old hat.

"The Justice League?" Naomi gasped, then looked at Jasmine. She looked as confused as Jasmine felt.

"But they're not real," Jasmine said.

"And Catwoman is _totally_ not in the League," Naomi added, raising her eyebrow.

"Put down the guns and nobody gets hurt," Batman said in an _obviously_ put-on deep voice.

The lead bad guy said some _really_ bad words, then grabbed one of the first graders, who squeaked. The other bad guys looked uncertain, but some of them followed their boss's lead, grabbing the nearest kid for a human shield. One of the two guys Jasmine had been trying to overhear reached right for Naomi, who froze in terror.

"No!" Jasmine said, throwing her arms wide in front of Naomi. "Stay away from her!"

The bad guy said something nasty, then grabbed Jasmine's arm. She tried to wiggle out of his grip and stopped when he pointed his gun at her face. "Stay still," he said, his breath gross with cigarettes and beef jerky-smell. He wrapped his arm around her neck until his gross sweaty skin was all against her, then poked the gun into her head.

For a second, Jasmine couldn't even think, she was so scared. Then rage filled her up inside like dragon's breath. How _dare_ he grab her? How _dare_ he scare Naomi?

She was going to kick. His. _Butt._

Across the room, Batman was talking fast. The head bad guy was watching him closely, not noticing that the rest of the Justice League (plus Catwoman and Mystery Guy) were spreading out sneakily. Before the rest of the bad guys could notice, Green Lantern yelled "Everyone down!"

His voice was weirdly familiar, but before she could think of where she'd heard it before, the Justice League sprang into action. Green Lantern threw his green shield, Mystery Guy pulled out a pair of revolvers and started shooting, Batgirl and Robin threw Batarangs, Batman shot some kind of Bat-taser, Wonder Woman hauled out a hammer and threw it, Green Arrow started shooting arrows, Catwoman snapped her whip, and Superman jumped on a guy and zapped him with some kind of lightning.

The guy who'd grabbed Jasmine yelped as a Batarang stuck out of his shoulder, and his arm loosened around her neck. Her school self-defense lessons jumped into Jasmine's mind, and she made a fist, then swung it hard behind her. The bad guy yelped again and reached for his privates, letting her go; Jasmine ducked his arm, got around him, grabbed Naomi's hand, and jerked her to her feet.

"Let's go!" she shouted.

"Where?"

"I don't _care!"_ Jasmine said, and yanked on Naomi's hand until she started running too. They dashed across the Rotunda and into the Hall of Biodiversity, then made a hard right to enter the Hall of Ocean Life. Just inside the doorway, Jasmine yanked on Naomi's hand and pulled her sideways. Naomi made an annoyed sound of protest, and Jasmine shushed her.

"We gotta be quiet," she hissed, and Naomi made a face at her before looking nervously around. High above their heads, the giant whale floated like a cloud-whale come to life. Jasmine edged back against the wall—no matter how many times her daddy told her it wouldn't fall on her, she still didn't like being underneath it—and took a deep breath.

Now that she wasn't running, everything that had just happened hit Jasmine like a dodgeball to the gut. Her eyes stung with tears and her throat closed up tight. Naomi noticed right away and hugged Jasmine.

"It's okay," she said. "We're safe now. You saved us."

Jasmine buried her face in Naomi's shoulder and breathed in the reassuring, spicy smell of Naomi's clothes while she tried to keep from sobbing. Naomi petted her back and whispered soft things until Jasmine could let her go and wipe her eyes with her sleeve. Naomi kept her arm across Jasmine's back, though, and Jasmine was grateful for the touch.

"What do we do now?" Naomi whispered.

"I don't know," Jasmine said, her voice thick. She tried to clear her throat quietly. "I guess—I guess we hide until it's safe."

"I hope everyone's okay," Naomi said. Guilt churned Jasmine's stomach. She had run away from all her classmates and friends without even trying to take more of them with her. All she had thought about was herself, and Naomi.

"I should have helped," she said, looking at the floor in shame. She felt Naomi turn to look at her, and her cheeks burned.

"What are you talking about?" Naomi said, incredulous. "You're in the _fourth grade,_ Jasmine. What you did was _crazy brave_."

Naomi really meant it. Jasmine felt a glow in her chest and dared to look up. Naomi was looking at her like she was the dumbest but also the greatest. Then she started to look nervous.

Before Jasmine could ask her why, Naomi leaned in and kissed her awkwardly on the lips. _Oh, wow_. Naomi pulled away, looking scared and worried. Jasmine blinked. All of her blood had gone to her head and if Naomi hadn't still been holding on to her, she was pretty sure she would have fallen over.

"Was that—I mean—did you—" Naomi stammered. Jasmine blinked.

"Do that again?" she asked, hopefully, and a wave of relief washed over Naomi's face before she leaned forward and kissed Jasmine again.

It felt better than beating her big brother at MarioKart.

When they stopped kissing, Naomi looked as dazed as Jasmine felt. Naomi swallowed and said, "So, uh. I guess you know now, but . . . I like you."

"I like you, too," Jasmine said. Naomi grinned.

"Well, that's convenient."

Jasmine poked her arm. "Smarty."

Naomi poked her back, and what would have escalated into a full-out tickle war was interrupted by the sound of running feet. Two of the bad guys from the rotunda ran into the Hall of Ocean Life and got two-thirds through the exhibit before they both skidded to a halt.

"Shoot, this doesn't go through," one of them said. They turned around.

Without needing to say a word to each other, Jasmine and Naomi bent down until they were crouching. The men started to run back toward them, but before they reached the door, they stopped again.

"Gentlemen," a very familiar voice said from right inside the doorway. The Green Lantern took a step into the Hall of Ocean Life, still carrying his green shield. "Put the guns down, and no one gets hurt."

"Who the flapjack are you supposed to be?" one of the men sneered. "Green Dude?"

Jasmine and Naomi looked at each other and rolled their eyes at the same time. Loser.

"I'm the Green Lantern," the Lantern said, but there was the tiniest hesitation in his voice, like he wasn't totally sure. Again, Jasmine had the nagging feeling that she'd _heard_ that voice before somewhere.

"I don't give a fartnugget who you are," the other guy said. "There's two of us and one of you, and you don't even have a goshdarned gun. So how about _you_ get out of the figpudding way, and _you_ don't get funning hurt."

"Sorry, fellas," Green Lantern said, and for a second, Jasmine _knew_ who was really wearing the Green Lantern's costume. "That's not how this works."

Before Jasmine could squeal her delighted discovery to Naomi, Green Lantern hauled back his arm and flung his shield. The two bad guys let out startled squawks; one dived quickly enough to avoid the flying disc, while the other was hit with a loud _thud_. The shield ricocheted off the wall and flew back into Green Lantern's hand, but as he was catching it, the bad guy who'd escaped his first throw started shooting.

The gunshots were _loud_. Naomi and Jasmine shrieked and ducked closer to the ground. Startled, Green Lantern looked their way—which was just long enough of a distraction for the bad guy to yell and charge him. Green Lantern had let his shield fall to his side, so the man crashed right into his middle, knocking him to the floor. Jasmine watched over Naomi's shoulder as Green Lantern and the bad guy wrestled for a second before Green Lantern kicked the bad guy right in the stomach. He went flying, landing hard in the middle of the room.

Jasmine wasn't paying attention. _Holy macaroni_ , she thought as Green Lantern sat up. He checked to make sure the two bad guys he'd taken out weren't going to come after them, then looked at Jasmine and Naomi.

"Are you two all right?" he asked, in that oh-so-familiar voice. Jasmine kicked herself a little for not recognizing it earlier.

"Yeah," she said. "Thanks, Captain America."

\-----

_Two weeks earlier_

Clint's perfectly-thrown peanut hit the power button on the TV in the common lounge, turning it off as the end credits of _Super Friends_ began to roll. _Showoff_ , Tony thought, and squinted at the TV, wondering why it still had something as quaintly antique as an off button.

"I am Batman," Clint intoned, raising a fist. Tony rolled his eyes.

"If anyone here is going to be Batman, it's me," he said, tapping his fingers on the back of the loveseat. "You're Robin, circus boy."

Clint didn't stir from his position on the sofa, sprawled out with his head pillowed on Coulson's thigh. "Well, I do like Dick," he said, and waggled his eyebrows at Agent. Coulson sighed and smiled indulgently at the younger man. Tony opened his mouth to tell them to get a room, but was interrupted.

"I wish to be the Woman of Wonder," Thor said, eyes gleaming. He'd claimed a pillow-strewn space on the floor, and despite the track pants and "Welcome to the Gun Show" t-shirt (Clint's idea), he looked more like the god of sex acts rather than the god of thunder. Tony imagined him in an Amazonian bustier and grinned.

"You could rock those boots, Thor baby. Done."

"Superman." Natasha, curled into a catlike ball around her bowl of popcorn, pronounced the name like it was the only reasonable option. Tony blinked.

"But—but you're nothing like him," he said.

She shrugged elegantly. "Superman," she repeated.

"Catwoman," he countered. "Hot, dubious morals, and attracted to _me._ "

Natasha's hand paused over her popcorn. Her eyes went cold and deadly and Tony remembered that she a) lived in his tower b) had killed more people than anyone in the room but Thor c) didn't go anywhere without a weapon.

"Superman. Right."

She regarded him coldly for a second longer, then popped a piece of popcorn in her mouth and crushed it between her teeth. Tony made a mental note to tell Pepper he needed a custom Superman costume in Natasha's size, _ASAP_.

On the loveseat opposite Tony, Steve spoke up. "I'd like to be the Green Lantern."

"Really, Mr. Truth, Justice, and the American Way?" Tony said, pretending he wasn't braced to dive over the back of the loveseat at the first sign of Soviet aggression.

"Well, since the Green Lantern's power is sheer stubbornness, I think Steve would be a great fit," Bucky Barnes—formerly the Winter Soldier—drawled from his seat next to Steve. While Tony had initially been skeptical regarding the idea of the former assassin joining their group—okay, to be honest, he was torn between being flames-on-the-side-of-his-face enraged and piss-his-pants terrified over the idea—it turned out that, after a lot of therapy, Barnes was actually a decent guy and fantastic addition to the team. He and the Capsicle needled each other endlessly and it was _beautiful._

". . . thanks?" Steve said uncertainly.

There was only one character Barnes himself could be. Tony flung out his hand. "Tin Soldier here is Cyborg."

Bucky narrowed his eyes and extended a metallic, gorgeously engineered middle finger in Tony's direction. Steve didn't bother to hide his smirk.

Tony dropped his arm back onto the top of the loveseat and rolled his eyes. "Well, then, who do you want to be, Buckster?"

"Don't call me Buckster," Bucky said before he leaning back into Steve's arm. America's Sweetheart curled his fingers around his ex-terrorist boyfriend's shoulder. "I'm The Shadow."

 _The who?_ Tony blinked. "That's not DC. That's, that's—what is that?"

"I know what evil lurks in the hearts of men," Bucky intoned. Steve grinned.

"You don't have the nose for it, Buck."

"Shut it, Lantern."

Tony made a note to himself to figure out what the hell the fossils were talking about later, then  pointed at Phil, who'd been listening just a little too intently to this conversation to pretend he wasn't secretly longing to join in.. "What about you, Agent Agent? Who do you want to be?"

The government agent's eyes flicked to Cap and Barnes. _Still got a crush on Cap_ , Tony thought, suppressing a smile. Phil cleared his throat. "I'd like to be Aquaman."

Of all the things that could have come out of Phil's mouth, that was probably the one he'd least expected. "Aquaman?" Tony repeated, then burst out laughing. "Aquaman is _lame_."

"Aquaman controls 75% of the earth," Phil retorted. "That's not lame at all."

"Tony is a fake geek boy," Natasha chanted softly. Tony glared at her. She smiled back, satisfied. _Am not,_ Tony mouthed at her. Her smile deepened.

"But Aquaman and Robin aren’t together," Clint said, pretending to pout. Natasha's gaze flicked from Tony to Clint, and mischief sparkled in her eyes.

"Well, then. Clearly the only solution is for Phil to be Batgirl."

Batgirl. _Batgirl_. Tony pictured Phil in a skirt and high-heeled yellow boots and started laughing so hard that he couldn't sit up straight.

Natasha popped a piece of popcorn into her mouth, then said calmly, "She's brilliant, she takes no crap, and she knows everything. Clearly, Phil is Oracle."

Clint looked at her with his best pretend-serious face on. "But are Robin and Batgirl _together?_ "

"Off and on," she said. Clint grinned and pumped his fist in victory, then looked up at Phil. "Hellooooooo, Batgirl."

Tony didn't have time to parse the expression on Phil's face before Janet returned from the kitchen, stepping over Thor's legs as she crossed the living room. "I'll be Catwoman!" she said as she plopped herself next to Natasha and handed one of the sodas she carried to the other woman. "She's got style."

"Rowr," Tony said. Janet narrowed her eyes at him.

"Don't make me get my whip out."

"What if I ask nicely?"

Janet looked at Natasha. Natasha tipped her bowl of popcorn in Janet's direction. Janet took a handful and threw it at Tony. He opened his mouth and tried to catch some of it, but it just bounced off his nose.

Clint sat up and leaned on the back of the couch. "Hey, Bruce," he said. "Who do you wanna be?"

Bruce, who'd been sitting in the back of the room at a table, looking at data on his laptop, looked up from his screen and blinked, then took off his glasses. "Oh, I—I don't know, I guess I wasn't really paying attention."

 _Bullshit_ , Tony thought, and was saved from having to call Bruce out by Clint, who tilted his head and gave the scientist a chastising look.

"I heard you laughing at the Wonder Twins," Clint said. "Come on. Who do you wanna be?"

Bruce blinked a few times. He was cute when he got flustered. Well, when he got flustered and didn't turn into a giant green rage monster. "Well—I guess if I had to pick—I'd be the Green Arrow."

Clint looked at Phil, pretending outrage. "Wait, they have an arrow guy? Seriously? COPYCATS."

"Pretty sure the Green Arrow character is older than you are, Clint," Natasha drawled. "Which makes _you_ the copycat."

Tony shot her a glare that she didn't notice. _Someone_ was being a know-it-all.

"Lies," Clint muttered, pouting, then frowned and turned to look back over the couch at Bruce. "Seriously, though. You pick the guy with no powers? Why not somebody cooler?"

Bruce stilled, as if he was surprised by Clint's question. He played with his glasses for a moment. _Hmm_ , Tony thought. _Truth time._ Bruce fiddled with things when he said things that he wasn't sure people wanted to hear. Tony wasn't the only one who'd noticed that particular tell of Bruce's, he noticed; Natasha and Phil were watching the little scientist closely, too.

"You're right, Clint," Bruce said softly. "Oliver Queen doesn't have any powers. He doesn't have enhanced alien physiology, or a magic ring, or hypnotism, or even advanced technology. But he fights to protect his friends and his city anyway. And to me, that's real bravery."

No one in the room spoke. Clint searched Bruce's face for any hint of mockery, but the scientist meant what he said, and Clint saw it. The ex-carnie's cheeks turned bright pink and he sank into Phil's lap, surprised, while Phil smiled down at him with the most embarrassing look of pride Tony had ever seen on the man's face.

"Awww—"

"SHUT UP, TONY," everyone in the room chorused.

\-----

Natasha's Superman costume arrived two days later. Within the hour, Tony called Pepper back.

"Pep? Question. That place that did Natasha's costume—think they could make a couple more?"

\-----

Jasmine and Naomi walked back to the Rotunda, hand-in-hand with Green-Lantern-aka-Captain-America. "Don't tell everyone just yet," he'd requested, winking, and Jasmine and Naomi had solemnly agreed—once he'd shown them the real shield underneath Tony Stark's glowing green cover. They passed Mr. Alonso in the doorway, talking on his phone, looking shaken.

"I think—I think I just got saved by SuperGirl," he stammered.

"Super _man_ ," Green-Lantern-aka-Captain-America corrected him, and Mr. Alonso nearly jumped out of his skin. Jasmine and Naomi grinned at each other.

Tonya and Meg were whispering to each other as Jasmine and Naomi passed.

"I don't think there's ever been a Wonder Guy," Tonya said.

"Wasn't there like a Wonder Man, though?" Meg said.

"Yeah, but that's _Diana's_ costume," Tonya argued.

Meg rolled her eyes. "Fine, if you want to be picky about it . . ."

The Justice League had herded all the kids back from the broken glass and tied-up baddies, which took up one end of the Rotunda; the teachers had clumped at the edge, half their attention on the students, half their attention on the superheroes and bad guys. Green-Lantern-aka-Captain-America led Jasmine and Naomi to the clump, then let them go. Miss DeConnick grabbed them both as soon as she saw them and hugged them until their ribs ached.

"I was so worried for you," she said, then loosened her grip. "Are you both all right?"

"Yes," Jasmine and Naomi chorused.

One of the first-graders was staring up at Batman. "Are you really Batman?" she whispered.

Whoever it was in the suit grinned. "Of course," he said in the faux-deep voice he'd used before. The first-grader squinted at him.

"Then where's your Batmobile?"

"Being repaired," he said. "You know what they say about Batmobiles—might as well buy two, because one's always going to be in the shop."

The first-grader frowned.

Batgirl touched her cowl, then announced—in a very manly voice—"Ladies and gentlemen, the police have arrived, and the Red Cross will be here shortly."

The teachers let out a collective sigh of relief, then started clapping. The students quickly joined in, adding excited whoops to the noise. "Hurray for the Justice League!" someone yelled, and the others quickly took up the cry until the whole room echoed. The heroes looked at each other, smiling, until Batman raised his arms.

"I'm sorry, folks, but the ruse has gone on _long enough_ ," he said, dropping the fake voice. He pulled off his cowl, and every kid in the room—plus some of the adults—gasped as Tony Stark revealed himself.

"You're not Batman?" a second-grader said accusingly. Tony knelt.

"I'm better than Batman. I'm _Iron Man."_

The second-grader glared at him. "That's not better than Batman."

Tony put his hands to his heart dramatically while the rest of the Justice League laughed. Green-Lantern-aka-Captain-America grinned and said, "Come on, Tony, time to go."

"Bye!" Jasmine and Naomi chorused, and the other kids quickly picked up the cry. The nine superheroes left, waving as they went, Tony pretending to glare at the second-grader. After they were gone and the Rotunda filled with excited chatter, Jasmine slipped her hand into Naomi's.

"I wonder who all of them really were," she said.

"Well, I'm pretty sure Wonder Woman was Thor," Naomi said dryly. Jasmine grinned at her.

"You think?"

Naomi smiled back. "I think _you_ were my hero today."

Jasmine bit her lip as her cheeks heated. "Smooth," she said finally. Naomi's smile turned into a grin.

"You know it."

Jasmine ducked her head to look at their interlaced fingers, then looked up at Naomi.

"So. What are you doing on Saturday?"

"I don't know, what are _you_ doing on Saturday?"

The other girl's teasing voice made Jasmine's heart flutter. "Probably homework," she said, and took a deep breath. "Then playing MarioKart with you?"

Naomi squeezed Jasmine's hand. " _Losing_ at MarioKart with me," she said, mischief in her eyes.

"Oh, that's how it's gonna be?"

"That's how it's gonna be."

"You're on."

They didn't get to see the dinosaurs that day. But neither Jasmine nor Naomi really minded.


End file.
